“It’s Not Us, It’s You”
Part of that experience of getting better eventually led to Kate and I seeing a couples therapist.
First off, if you have never gone to therapy, you should. It’s like having your own personal mental cheerleader. If I ruled the world, I would have three mandates:
- Space Exploration at all costs
- Environmental Care and Protections
- Everyone has to go to Therapy once a month.
The therapist Kate and I ended up at was a delightful old woman who…we just didn’t click with. Now to be fair, it was couples therapy, and in couples therapy, things can become tense. Our therapist helped us work through some issues in our relationship, and our relationship has never been stronger.
It’s fair to say that our therapist (We’ll call her Dr. Hill), helped us come to terms with dating one another.
Dr. Hill did a good job.
Except when Dr. Hill didn’t. And this isn’t a dig on her professional knowledge or skills, because those seemed to be spot on. It’s just that her methods were a bit…dated for us.
Maybe this is the hyper millennial in us, but both Kate and I struggled with how difficult some basic things surrounding couples therapy became. We couldn’t book appointments online, which resulted in phone tag with me having to take calls at work. I would see the number, awkwardly glance around at my coworkers, and take the call as quickly and as quietly as possible.
Unfortunately, the only time slot that worked with us was at 7:30 AM on a Tuesday morning. Do you know what puts stress on a relationship? Waking up at 6 AM on a Tuesday then battling LA traffic, then spending 50 minutes talking about what can be improved in your couples communication, then frantically battling traffic back to each get to work on time.
Neither of us looked forward to Tuesday mornings.
And then there was the matter of Dr. Hill’s vernacular. At one point she suggested that we go to the library and rent some tapes to listen to. I love the library, but who still rents…tapes? When we mentioned meditation apps like Headspace, we were presented with a blank stare.
During our European adventure, Kate and I had a discussion, and we both decided that we didn’t need to see Dr. Hill anymore. So when we got back, I did what a millennial does.
I ghosted Dr. Hill.
I know, I know. Dick move. But it’s hard to break up with your therapist!
I mentioned this to my other therapist, and what ensued was a 20-minute discussion on how I owe Dr. Hill a call, and that as a professional therapist she would be fine with the outcome.
Instead, I wrote this. Looks like I can always still be improving.
Breaking Up With Your Couples Therapist – 2 out of 5 Stars